I just realized today that in the last 10 years or so I have not missed one World Championships in either skiing or cycling voluntarily until last year. Between 2002 when I attended my first Paralympic Games in Salt Lake City and the 2009 Alpine Skiing World Championships in S Korea I have raced at 10 World Champions and Paralympics combined. Then there are all of the World Cups, Regional, and National races that I have no clue to the amount. It felt weird the first time I missed a World Championships, 2009 Track World Championships in Manchester, knowing full well that I had qualified and given up my slot to train for the 2010 Vancouver Games. The second was absolutely strange, 2011 Skiing World Championships in Sestriere, Italy. I followed with the strange feeling that if I got on a plane I could make it to at least one of the races. This feeling was as if something of me was missing. I have not been able to understand it all. The feeling I am sure has to be in part from the fact that I was not riding my bike outside due to the cold weather which normally would have been no hindrance had I been skiing. I am happy with the decision that I have made but can’t say that I don’t miss skiing. I was asked last night if I would go back to ski racing but I am not sure that I could right now. I had a ton of fun skiing over the holidays and really enjoyed myself. I am not sure if I want to give that away so that I can start to train and focus on technique and tactic more then absolutely necessary. Trees make excellent obstacles to avoid and it leads to many different techniques to getting down the hill. No one way is the right way and that is why I think I had fun. I could just be free and unpredictable. I am sure that I will continue to have this void in me for a whole until I can fill it with something else.
So what I am doing now will hopefully help my sense of loss. I am getting ready for the 2010 Track World Championships being held March 2011, don’t ask. I have already attended two high intensity track camps in Carson, CA, just south of Compton. I am on my way to the next one with a brief road camp before another Carson camp. I honestly am looking forward to being able to ride outside consistently for the next couple of weeks. I haven’t been outside in almost a month. I have tried but just can’t muster up to being cold on the bike when I would much rather be skiing. So I am leaving the cold and the Rockies so that I can go play in SoCal and Arizona. I am really excited for this trip. A weird trip but excited non the less.
